I will never understand why certain things happen to certain people. Ever since Parker was born my faith has been tested time and time again. It continues to be tested. I do not know if I will ever understand why my family was chosen for the journey we have been sent on. I cannot tell you how many times I've screamed it's not fair until tears are streaming down my face. I will do it again because it seems fitting... It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair!!!!!
The same night we got home from our amazing appointment Parker started getting extremely irritable. Do not get me wrong. He has always been a super irritable baby. Of course we all would be too if we had been through the crap he's been through. He was just absolutely inconsolable. When were at the University hospital earlier in the day he was perfectly fine. His temperature was fine and he was acting his usual self. Thinking back he may have spit up a little more than usual, but when you have a child of habit out of their routine they are going to be crabby.
That night Parker got up every hour on the hour. Very, very unusual. He typically gets up every night at 11:30 and 3:30. That is what he does. This every hour stuff was exhausting. Of course we didn't initially panic, after all, his MRI was good and his appointments went so well. At about 1AM I got up to get him...again...and he vomited everywhere. The poor child felt like he was on fire. I woke up Casey and said, "Something is wrong."
Once again, one of the best gifts God gives mothers is intuition. Doctors have assured me that my intuition is one of the best that they have seen. I immediately knew it was a shunt infection. I just knew. Just like I knew he had Hydrocephalus. I just had this...feeling. This horrible gut wrenching feeling.
We flew him to our local ER. It was ironic that the same lady who checked us in the day I had Parker also checked us in during our ER visit. Casey and I often joke about she was the beginning of our bad luck because she was sooo nervous when she checked us into the maternity ward. She actually called to the OB and said, "Caitlin is here for her c-section."
Not so much. Definitely did not have a c-section.
I am not sure if it was a full moon or what but that ER was absolutely hopping! Parker's neighbor was throwing up VERY loudly and we had a joint bathroom. Enough said. Once the ER doc finally made his way to us he had to leave moments later because a woman about ready to deliver was on her way. We were thinking, great, he will be gone for another hour. Umm...ten minutes later he was back and all he could say was, "Quick delivery."
They did some blood work and everything came back "normal". His white count was a little elevated, but really nothing showed any type of infection. They gave him some Tylenol for his fever, a good ole shot in his chubby thigh full of antibiotics and sent us on our way. He was actually diagnosed with an ear infection.
To a parent with a non-ill child you would be perfectly set with that diagnosis. Casey and I however had serious doubts. We were told to follow up with our pediatrician that same day and I am telling you our appointment could not come soon enough. Parker still wasn't holding food down and he was getting worse by the hour. By time we made it to our pediatrician's office he had thrown up everything...innnn the lobby.
Our pediatrician did not hesitate to send us on our way to the University hospital agreeing with us that it could be a shunt infection. We could pray for the flu, but let's be real. It wasn't the flu and everyone in that room knew it, including me. Another strange coincidence-the student who saw us when I was crying my eyes out about him having Hydro was following our pediatrician watching me cry my eyes out about him having a shunt infection. I am more than positive I will be in her reports several times. She is definitely getting some great lessons on crazy moms!
We rushed home to pack because we knew we'd be here for the long haul. We packed and drove to the University. We took a quick spin through the Hardees drive through knowing we wouldn't eat for a good 24 hours. I am not a fan of the new bun on the Hot Ham & Cheese. Just saying.
Parker of course was in his car seat looking a little brighter and happier for the first time all day. For a second I was doubting my instincts because he was so peaceful looking and playing with his toys in his seat.
I was extremely close to my Grandma. She passed way a couple years ago. I remember missing her one day right after she passed. I mean a day doesn't go by that I don't miss her, but this day I felt a void in my heart. As I was driving down the road crying a cluster of feathers swept across my windshield. At that moment I felt a sincere peace, a sort of tranquility washed across me. I knew it was her saying, "I am okay."
I am a believer of signs. Since Parker got diagnosed I have been looking for a sign from a loved one to tell me everything is going to be okay. I have yet to see that sign. On the way to the hospital I decided to share, for the first time, that story with Casey. He asked why I never told him that before and I simply responded with, "It never came up."
Then as if right on cue we both smelled so much crap we thought we were on a hog farm. We sure were following a truck full of pigs. That was my sign and it sure was "sh*t."
A couple hours later Parker was rushed for emergency brain surgery.
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