Fire in the Hole!

After the drama subsided from our room situation with the Cough A Lots, we were finally able to relax a little. Parker had been exposed to who knows what, so I was not happy. Once everything settled down I had the opportunity to snuggle with my baby and really look at him.

I took one really good look at him square in the face and I instantly see something wrong with him.

I ask, "Why is his ear like that?"

Casey looks at him and doesn't notice anything. He sighs and just gives me the "Caitlin you are seriously losing your mind look, but I don't dare say it out loud face".

"Casey look at his ear! It is inches below the other one. They are not symmetrical," I say!

He says, "Oh...oh...ooooooooh....His ears resemble Slough from the Goonies...".

"Don't ever say that," I yell-of course trying not to laugh because it was very true.

As you can see in his picture his ear is sticking out and VERY different from the other one. I send a picture to the person who can descalate me faster than a Xanax. My dad. He says, "It's cute and to carry on. Who cares if his ears aren't even?"

True. Thank you for that does of reality as always dad! He does not react and is amazing in crisis situations.

Then I notice that his soft spot is very, very different. Prior to surgery and even prior to being admitted into the hospital his soft spot was still concave and that was our "normal" baseline for him. Now it was lined up with his bones. That would be normal for a child who didn't have a huge head. Not for Parker, though. No more swimming pool.

Cue panic...!

The nurses come in as I am panic central. Casey was about ready to call off work for another five days since I was clearly losing my mind. Again.

"Call the doctors. Seriously call the doctors! His shunt is not working," I scream!

They look at Parker and say, "Well, he looks okay."

Seriously I realize that he looks "okay", but I need to know if this is his new baseline meaning, no more pool. Wait, what do you mean he looks okay? Do you not see his ears? I realize you people see  a lot in your day, but cmon'! This is not normal.

Just at that moment our favorite Neurosurgeon (in training) in purple crocs enters the room to see how his favorite patient, Mr. Parker, is doing. Poor guy.

"I am FREAKING out" I scream!

He asks, "What's going on?"

"First of all, look at his ears. Problem numero uno, Doc. Second of all, he no longer has his pool. The shunt is NOT working. Clearly, Just look at him," I state.

He gets out his handy dandy wand to check Parker's shunt settings. After checking he proves to me that his setting was exactly where it should be. "See here look, he says."

I reply, "No. I don't care. It's not the same. WHY is it not the same?"

Casey was more polite than I was and humored the doctor by looking at the setting. Sure didn't get up and look at it. I was ticked that he even assumed I didn't believe him. I believe you, doctor, I just want you to explain to me WHYYYYY it looks different and if this is what I should look for in the future.

Not that hard, right?

He couldn't answer me; going on and on about how the pressure setting was correct and the Shunt Series (x-rays and scans of his shunt in head and belly) were all normal. The doctor honestly was talking in circles about how Parker needs morphine and the nurses told him that I said he couldn't have any. It's not that Parker "couldn't" have morphine, it's that he didn't need it. I  allowed the morphine was Parker was admitted into the ICU and had the ventric put in. I won't watch him in pain. Tylenol was doing the trick. I am not into drugging my 4 month old and making him sick from morphine when he doesn't need it. Let's be real. He left after I refused to listen to him.

The nurses remained in the room and I said, "Seriously the fact that he wants to drug Parker has nothing to with the fact that his head is CLEARLY different. Please explain to me how morphine solves any of our problems today?"

They replied, "It doesn't. We are sorry."

Parker's nurses were fabulous and I could tell they were just as confused as I was about the situation. Parker was playing and laughing. He wasn't in pain. I will go on record as saying I do not expect doctors to know the answers to all of my questions. Especially doctors in medical school. However, if you do not know the answer then tell me that. Then go find someone who does. That's it! Sure has been the standard practice where-ever I've worked.

A little while later I am still concerned as all get out and I was deterring myself from a nervous breakdown by partaking in the biggest time waster ever created - Pinterest. I was busy planning dinners that I will never cook and rooms I won't decorate when I see Parker's surgeon enter our room.

I slam my phone down and state, "Thank GOD you are here!"

Clearly our friend in the purple crocs tattled on me.

He looks at me and walks over to Parker. "What's going on? He looks fine...look at him."

"You know doctor that's exactly what I've been doing all day and he does not look fine to me," I said. "Look at his ears and his soft spot. It's very different."

Soon after Casey, the nurses, doctor and I surround Parker in his crib. We are listening intently on what the doctor has to say. He explained to us that his ear was uneven because of swelling. After all, the shunt didn't go in easily. He then says that after the resident doctor came in, he went and chatted with him and said I was upset. NO <insert sarcasm>! The surgeon took the opportunity to re-examine at the scans and assured me that everything was in it's place and all was well. However, there was one small issue...

Parker needed to poop!

There's something they don't teach you in Hydro Mom school! If your child has Hydrocephalus and is constipated, it will affect the pressures in their brain, thus causing their soft spot to raise. He told us that parents bring their kids into the ER all the time because their shunts aren't working and turns out, it's because they are constipated. Go figure.The doctor could see Parker's, ummm...back-up in the scans.

Unfortunately this is not a new issue for Parker. The baby hates pooping. In our case it's obviously a little more serious than the average kid. Needless to say it's a celebration every time Parker poops. I mean, get the ice cream cake from Dairy Queen and hang up the streamers. Parker pooped! YAY!  Parker is a baby of many poops ranging from knuckle deep in poop, to thick, clay like poop we refer to as, "Clay Aiken" poops. Pooping is such a big deal at our house that Casey will ask me daily while he's at work.

"Did Parks poop today?"

"Yeah, we had a Clay Aiken," I say.

I took a sigh of relief and told Parker if he didn't knock this crap out he was going to drive me to drink.

"Oh come on Parker don't do that to your mom." the doctor says!

Looking back this was one of those times where I had verbal diarrhea and shouldn't have admitted my son was giving me a potential drinking problem...in front of his doctor and nurses. Oye.

Parker was given two days worth of "please poop pills" and still hadn't gone. I swear this child hates to poop. Right as we were supposed to be leaving he decided it would be a good idea to go poop. Thank the Lord.

Resident doctor in the purple crocs never came back into our room. Casey said I should apologize to him for being crazy and I did plan on it, but for some reason, he never came back. Then sent in the surgeon every time after that. Clearly not his first rodeo in dealing with crazy train moms.

I am woman enough to admit that this was the first time I was wrong. Parker's shunt was working. He pooped and was healing well. Now we had to await for a visit from a very important visitor-Physical Therapist. Parker's flat head was giving him some issues and this was a visit we were very, very anxious about.